Monday in Poughkeepsie, New York
No, I'm not here to run a race. Although Chris Bittinger, Gerardo Mora, Sean Wade, Tom King and one other Houston-area masters runner was in Syracuse on Sunday to compete in the USATF 5K Masters National Championship. No surprise as Sean won!
I've just started another project: just in time for winter in the Northeast!
I'm going to probably start to blog again just to put down some things in writing.
The bottom line is that I'm struggling. Sure. Money is good. I have work. I have an incredible daugthter and I, for the most part, have wonderful friends. But there's a piece in my life that is missing. And if you know me, you know what I'm talking about.
I'm beginning to wonder if I have reached the burnout stage that I did after covering Texas private and parochial high school athletics from 1994 to 2001. I walked away from that in the middle of high school football season (and just after 9-11 too.) Yes, heresy in Texas!
From a media perspective, as it relates to running, I've hit the apex of my game - so to speak. Sure, I haven't penned anything for Runner's World, Running Times or Marathon & Beyond, but that has never been an aspiration of mine.
I feel like I'm very well respected and when you reach that position, there is an incredible internal pressure to feel like you have to live up to so many people.
And when you get to that spot, you have to work even harder to maintain that perception that people have of you. I think that it brings burnout.
Yes, it appears that I'm going 90 miles an hour, but there is also a side of me that people don't always see. If I'm not being somewhat busy, I become lazy and unproductive while fear and procastination takes over.
It is an ugly cycle. And while I'm certainly not special, by any means, I do everything that I do without anyone very close and personal to offer more than just words of encouragement.
Again, I know that I'm very well respected by most. I'm thankful for that. Really I am. And while that is flattering, you can become guilty of reading your own press clippings and succumb to that. Now I don't think that is where I'm really at, but it is just that I'm tired of swinging at everything all by myself.
I don't want the praise or words of encouragement to beat my own chest by, but somebody just to say - and recognize - that they're proud of me simply for who I am and love me for being that way.
It's hard to give yourself a hug and tell yourself that you love yourself ... LOL! I don't even want to try for fear that somebody with a camera will show up and put in on You Tube! :)
If you have happened to decide to check the blog and are the praying type, please keep me in your prayers. I don't want to know if you did or not. That's not important to me.
The bottom life is that I just need some peace in my life.
I've just started another project: just in time for winter in the Northeast!
I'm going to probably start to blog again just to put down some things in writing.
The bottom line is that I'm struggling. Sure. Money is good. I have work. I have an incredible daugthter and I, for the most part, have wonderful friends. But there's a piece in my life that is missing. And if you know me, you know what I'm talking about.
I'm beginning to wonder if I have reached the burnout stage that I did after covering Texas private and parochial high school athletics from 1994 to 2001. I walked away from that in the middle of high school football season (and just after 9-11 too.) Yes, heresy in Texas!
From a media perspective, as it relates to running, I've hit the apex of my game - so to speak. Sure, I haven't penned anything for Runner's World, Running Times or Marathon & Beyond, but that has never been an aspiration of mine.
I feel like I'm very well respected and when you reach that position, there is an incredible internal pressure to feel like you have to live up to so many people.
And when you get to that spot, you have to work even harder to maintain that perception that people have of you. I think that it brings burnout.
Yes, it appears that I'm going 90 miles an hour, but there is also a side of me that people don't always see. If I'm not being somewhat busy, I become lazy and unproductive while fear and procastination takes over.
It is an ugly cycle. And while I'm certainly not special, by any means, I do everything that I do without anyone very close and personal to offer more than just words of encouragement.
Again, I know that I'm very well respected by most. I'm thankful for that. Really I am. And while that is flattering, you can become guilty of reading your own press clippings and succumb to that. Now I don't think that is where I'm really at, but it is just that I'm tired of swinging at everything all by myself.
I don't want the praise or words of encouragement to beat my own chest by, but somebody just to say - and recognize - that they're proud of me simply for who I am and love me for being that way.
It's hard to give yourself a hug and tell yourself that you love yourself ... LOL! I don't even want to try for fear that somebody with a camera will show up and put in on You Tube! :)
If you have happened to decide to check the blog and are the praying type, please keep me in your prayers. I don't want to know if you did or not. That's not important to me.
The bottom life is that I just need some peace in my life.
posted by WalkSports.com | 4:27 PM
3 Comments:
You got the Northeast and I drew Utah for the winter...
I recall the vocational counseling from my younger days: "Pursue a career that gives you whatever is important to you...respect, prestige, authority, belonging..." Perhaps it's time to find something that will feed a particular neglected area of importance...Godspeed
Thanks for sharing this wonderful information with us. I enjoy stopping by your blog for the informative details you provided. Have a great rest of your day and keep up the posts.
Greg Prosmushkin
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